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Field Guide
for Dads

From the midwife who raised 7 boys-to-men herself

Congratulations Dad! Isn’t this great?! We know what you might be thinking…something like: WHOA!

Yep. It IS a lot. And of course you have a lot of questions. And, yes, we have answers and can help. You are important and we want you to be comfortable. All your questions are important so we are going to try to answer them right here. We’ve been doing this for a while and we’ve heard most of them before, but just in case we miss something, please ask! Seriously, ask now… you can do it right here in the privacy of where ever you are.

I wasn’t expecting this whole out-of-hospital birth thing. Is it safe?

Safety of mother and baby is our first and foremost concern at the Baby Place. In fact, at the Baby Place, we screen all moms for safety on the first visit. Some risk factors prohibit a woman from giving birth at the center, and some risk factors must be closely monitored by our midwives and/or by physicians with whom we work closely. We will not risk the safety of your partner or your baby at any point. In the uncommon situation that complications arise in pregnancy, we may refer you to other specialty care providers. In the rare instance of complication during labor or birth, we will transport to the appropriate hospital which is dependent on the reason for transport.

Studies have consistently shown that planned homebirths (and birth center births), attended by experienced midwives, have excellent outcomes, for both mothers and babies. When compared to equal numbers of hospital births, homebirths (and birth center births) result in fewer birth injuries, fewer infections and fewer maternal and neonatal deaths. Please see our safety resources for more information.

I had no idea this birth thing would be so important to her.

Here’s the deal: She will remember her birth for the rest of her life. Seriously. Men are sometimes surprised to learn that, when you aren’t around, (and even when you are) women will talk about their birth(s) with anyone who asks—anytime, anywhere. It’s important to make it the very most satisfying experience possible.

I don’t want to see her in pain. AKA: the epidural sounds pretty good.

We always wonder…does the epidural sound good for her or for you? Just kidding.

Yes, it is possible you are going to see her in some amount of pain. Most women feel some level of pain from a little to a lot, to more than they can really express, but if natural birth were not something most women could do and if this kind of birth experience was not valuable beyond measure, we wouldn’t be doing this. Part of what we do, through out her prenatal care, is affirm her ability to do this. We work hard to help her find (or simply develop) her inner strength and confidence. Another thing we do is provide the environment that makes this life transforming experience a safe and sacred one and one that supports her in her laboring while we support you in helping her. And finally a big part of what we do is help you prepare for your birth experience by connecting you with educators and practitioners who are experts in education, preparation and support. We strongly recommend you both attend an independent, family-centered, natural childbirth class and we encourage the use of a doula to support you in your birth. OK…”DOO-la”. They are a good thing.

What if something happens? What do you do in an emergency?

This is the question we get most from dads and, quite frankly, if you didn’t ask it, we would wonder. When you come to a midwife, you are hiring an expert in normal birth. We know normal really well and as a result, if complications do occur, we recognize them quickly and correct them. What many view as complications in birth are really just variations from normal and can be safely handled by the midwife. In the rare situations that a complication arises we are not equipped to handle, we will quickly get you to a hospital where you can get medical attention. We have great working relationships with a variety of health care providers and emergency transport teams and we coordinate efficiently and effectively when we need to.

This is important. Pregnancy and birth are normal life experiences and really, they are as safe as life gets. So putting it in perspective, what would you do if, during the course of your normal life, a need for medical care arose? You would get it but you don’t drive around behind ambulances or stop at the hospital each day just because you might need them. As Dr. Marsden Wagner says: “having a highly trained surgeon obstetrician assist at your birth is about as sensible as hiring a pediatric surgeon as a baby sitter for your healthy 2 year old when you go out in the evening.”

It’s not just about the money, but I really need more information about the money

Many insurance companies cover the cost of our care. During the initial consult, we will help you check with your insurance provider and individual policy. All self pay clients will have a fee review during the tour and consult or at their initial visit and we’ll decide on individual payment schedules together. We will not turn away a family based on financial constraints. If you cannot pay all of our fee, please apply for the birth ministry gift. Our financial ministry committee considers all applications because the Baby Place Midwives is , in truth and ideal, a ministry.

At the birth what should I be doing? What do I get to do?

This is up to the two of you. What do you want to do? What does she want you to do? You can rub her back, get in the tub with her, you can be her primary support, you can catch the baby, (or not) you can cut the cord, (or not). It is really whatever you want, but if you want to do really well (reminding her what it is she loves so much about you in the process), we’ll hook you up with a great class and feel ready for the big day when it comes. Maybe the only thing you want to do is the most important thing you can do: tell her you will be there with her and for her.

YOU are important to us.
Please know, from the very first time you come to our birth center we look forward to having you there. Not only is our practice-style designed to include you, but our birth center was designed to include you (comfortable furniture and queen size beds). We anticipate and encourage your involvement and we look forward to supporting you while we care for mother and baby.

Testimonials

• 1
  “To say I was hesitant about out-of-hospital birth would be a gross understatement; I was vehemently against it. My perception of out-of-hospital birth was my wife going through her pregnancy without checkups and then when labor started, calling up a “granola” midwife to come to our house and help the delivery. I couldn’t have been more wrong. We looked around the Valley for a birthing center (I first tried ones connected to hospitals) and finally ended up at the Baby Place. Upon our consultation with Coleen, I drilled her relentlessly & put her in hypothetical situations and with every answer she gave me, I surprisingly found my expectations exceeded by her wealth of knowledge, experience, respect for the birth process & acknowledgement of the need of modern medicine and its rightful place in the birthing process. We chose to use Coleen, had regular checkups and became very comfortable with the facility and its employees. The experience and care we received at the births of our children was beyond anything I could have imagined. We couldn’t have pictured it more perfect than it was. We love our midwives & are grateful for being able to choose & have incredible experiences bringing our children into the world. We have continued to refer & had multiple friends & family birth there.” - Ryan Taylor Nampa, ID